Hezeus and Charlotte continue their world domination plans...
After lighting the poor I.R.N. guard on fire, Hezeus & Charlotte examine the body.
Charlotte: "WELL, he's dead. Great, now we can't eat him...."
The two then discover a crate of I.R.N. musket rifles and eagerly add the weapons to their arsenal.
Something just makes this spider SO much more intimidating when she's holding a rifle. Annie Oakley she may not be, but look out just the same. O_O
Another crate! What could be inside THIS one....
More guns! This time, two Flintlock pistols, a sword and 2 pairs of manacles. This is a mug shot photo if ever I saw one.
Charlotte: "Don't @#$%! with me!"
As they head down the shore line, a pelican watches from the surf....what IS the deal with this bird??
*De-de-DEHHHHH!!!!*
Hezeus & Charlotte (sounds like the title to a bad 90's film..) come across 3 pirtaes with a small ding....er....row boat.
Pirate: "D'har there matey! Who be ye land lubbers??"
Hezeus: "Why we are just a pair of toy adventurers who are looking to sell or trade this crate of FINE muskets. Charlotte my dear, would you be so kind as to open the crate and show these upstanding gentlemen our wares?"
Charlotte: "SEE? Best muskets out there, never been used! And each come with a bayonet. What'll it be for them fellas??"
Pirate #2 (green shirt): "ARR those do appear to be fine muskets! Would you accept this solid gold idol in trade for them??"
Hezeus: "Come come now gentlemen, these are FINE muskets, surely you have MORE to trade??"
Hezeus: "MORE!"
Hezeus: "MORE!!"
The pirates up the anty by including a yellow robot in addition to the small golden statue. The pirates, rowing at apparently ludicrous speeds (gotta love enchanted row boats), quickly get away from the dup before they have time to reconsider their trade....and try and steal their boat.
Charlotte: "Okay so....do YOU know how to work this stupid thing??"
Hezeus: "I think we got screwed."
Charlotte: "Yeah well maybe we should have just SHOT THEM and took their boat!"
Hezeus: "Hey I didn't see YOU shooting anybody either! Don't blame ME for this! Now I'M the one stuck lugging this bucket of bolts around until we can find someone who knows how to fix it.."
After a few minutes of walking, the duo approach a battle! It appears that a pirate and half a dozen skeletons are attacking a knight defending a princess. The knight is keeping the undead toys at bay, but for how much longer we do not know.
Hezeus: "Hmmm....we can probably get money if we ransom that princess...so, lets pretend to be on the knight's side, then kill him and take the princess!"
Charlotte: "Oooo that IS a good plan. I'll try shooting a few of those skeletons, to try and thin their numbers out a bit..."
Unfortunately, Charlotte is a rather bad shot and misses completely.
The skeletons all turn their heads in unison towards Hezeus & Charlotte, their hollow life-less eyes staring at them.
Charlotte: "Okay, that is just a LITTLE creepy!"
Charlotte: "Any MORE bright ideas bird-brain??"
Hezeus: "No, just get ready to fight, cause those bone-heads are heading this way!"
Hezeus reaches his hand to his back, disconnecting his glaive from the peg-hole.
Taking the glaive in both hands, he un-furls his wings and his head morphs into a more sinister design.
Hezeus: "Let's tear it up! *SCREEEEEECH!*"
After lighting the poor I.R.N. guard on fire, Hezeus & Charlotte examine the body.
Charlotte: "WELL, he's dead. Great, now we can't eat him...."
The two then discover a crate of I.R.N. musket rifles and eagerly add the weapons to their arsenal.
Something just makes this spider SO much more intimidating when she's holding a rifle. Annie Oakley she may not be, but look out just the same. O_O
Another crate! What could be inside THIS one....
More guns! This time, two Flintlock pistols, a sword and 2 pairs of manacles. This is a mug shot photo if ever I saw one.
Charlotte: "Don't @#$%! with me!"
As they head down the shore line, a pelican watches from the surf....what IS the deal with this bird??
*De-de-DEHHHHH!!!!*
Hezeus & Charlotte (sounds like the title to a bad 90's film..) come across 3 pirtaes with a small ding....er....row boat.
Pirate: "D'har there matey! Who be ye land lubbers??"
Hezeus: "Why we are just a pair of toy adventurers who are looking to sell or trade this crate of FINE muskets. Charlotte my dear, would you be so kind as to open the crate and show these upstanding gentlemen our wares?"
Pirate #2 (green shirt): "ARR those do appear to be fine muskets! Would you accept this solid gold idol in trade for them??"
Hezeus: "Come come now gentlemen, these are FINE muskets, surely you have MORE to trade??"
Hezeus: "MORE!"
Hezeus: "MORE!!"
The pirates up the anty by including a yellow robot in addition to the small golden statue. The pirates, rowing at apparently ludicrous speeds (gotta love enchanted row boats), quickly get away from the dup before they have time to reconsider their trade....and try and steal their boat.
Charlotte: "Okay so....do YOU know how to work this stupid thing??"
Hezeus: "I think we got screwed."
Hezeus: "Hey I didn't see YOU shooting anybody either! Don't blame ME for this! Now I'M the one stuck lugging this bucket of bolts around until we can find someone who knows how to fix it.."
Pirate: "Give us the princess Sir Knight, and we MIGHT let you live!"
Knight: "NEVER! The princess is under MY protection and NO HARM shall befall her 'slong as I still draw breathe! So, HOLD and get ye hither or prepare to be vanquished!"
Charlotte: "Oooo that IS a good plan. I'll try shooting a few of those skeletons, to try and thin their numbers out a bit..."
Unfortunately, Charlotte is a rather bad shot and misses completely.
The skeletons all turn their heads in unison towards Hezeus & Charlotte, their hollow life-less eyes staring at them.
Charlotte: "Okay, that is just a LITTLE creepy!"
Charlotte: "Any MORE bright ideas bird-brain??"
Hezeus: "No, just get ready to fight, cause those bone-heads are heading this way!"
Hezeus reaches his hand to his back, disconnecting his glaive from the peg-hole.
Taking the glaive in both hands, he un-furls his wings and his head morphs into a more sinister design.
Hezeus: "Let's tear it up! *SCREEEEEECH!*"
The skeletons advance and the battle is joined! 5 out of the 6 skeletons bum-rush them, 3 taking on Charlotte and 2 taking Hezeus.
One of the skeletons critically fails at an attack roll and severs it's own head, much to Hezeus' surprise and amusement.
Charlotte fires into the skeletons, doing her best to blast them to pieces. They keep regenerating and returning to full fighting form everytime they kill one.
Hezeus lands another big slice down on the decapitated skeleton, and then goes to bunt the undead attacker with the center of his glaive.
Hezeus: "HEY! They're vulnerable to bashing weapons! We can kill them if we bash their bones to dust!"
Hezeus: "HEY! They're vulnerable to bashing weapons! We can kill them if we bash their bones to dust!"
Charlotte: "GREAT! Now help me out over here, I'm getting creamed!"
Charlotte has been struck a few times and is growing weak, another successful hit from a skeleton, and she is done fore.
Not wanting to see his partner in crime de-animated, Hezeus takes to the air, swoops down and snatches Charlotte out of harms way.
Hezeus: "There, shoot at skeletons from on my back, now let's take these guys out!"
Charlotte: "Okay..oww...uhh.."
The skeletons swing their swords wildly, trying to hit Hezeus, but he is flying juuuust out of their reach.
Pirate: "GIVE ME THE PRINCESS!!! You CAN'T hold us back for ever!"
Knight: "Aye that may be true, but I will have to hold you back until you are all defeated....even if it costs me my very life!"
Hezeus: "There, shoot at skeletons from on my back, now let's take these guys out!"
Charlotte: "Okay..oww...uhh.."
The skeletons swing their swords wildly, trying to hit Hezeus, but he is flying juuuust out of their reach.
Pirate: "GIVE ME THE PRINCESS!!! You CAN'T hold us back for ever!"
Knight: "Aye that may be true, but I will have to hold you back until you are all defeated....even if it costs me my very life!"
Stay tuned for the next installment of the 2010 Toyin' Around campaign!
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